


Blah Blah Blah Day

by thestanceyg



Series: Darcy Lewis April Challenge [17]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Sequel, writing challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-23 09:13:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3762589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thestanceyg/pseuds/thestanceyg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In this sequel to Name Yourself Day (day 9), Darcy pays Nick a visit at work and sends an agent to Antarctica.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blah Blah Blah Day

**Author's Note:**

> Day 17  
> Holiday: Blah Blah Blah Day  
> Prompt: Sequel to Name Yourself Day (day 9)

Darcy sauntered into Shield headquarters, flashing a badge at anyone that tried to stop her on her quest.  As she pushed her way toward the director’s office, an agent with a chip on his shoulder put his arm out to stop her.

“I don’t know how you got this far, but you clearly aren’t an agent.  So why don’t you take those sashay-ing hips and scoot on out of here?”

“Yeah, no.  Not happening.”

“This is a government facility, not a playground.”  He looked her up and down, taking in her outfit, “Nor is it a bar.”

She couldn’t help it.  Laughter bubbled out of her mouth.  “Oh.  My.  God.  That is too perfect.  Is this some cheesy action movie?  Am I on the Shield version of Candid Camera?”

“This isn’t a joke,”

“Hold on.  Let me catch my breath.”  She tried to stop giggling but couldn’t.  “Nope.  Can’t stop. Did Hill put you up to this?”

“Throwing around names won’t get you out of this very serious offense.”

Darcy’s phone pinged.

**I don’t like to be kept waiting.**

Darcy calmed a bit.  “Uh oh.  That’s trouble for you.  I certainly hope this is a joke.”

“You shouldn’t be able to get service in here.”

“Why?  Can’t you?”

“You’re nobody.  How did you get a phone with the necessary technology to work in here?”

“You might want to rethink that whole ‘nobody’ thing” she said, typing out a response.

**One of your low level asshats is giving me shit.  Are you putting me on here?**

“Who are you texting?”

“Someone who is going to make today a very bad day for you.”

“Give me that,” he growled, grabbing her phone as it chimed.

**Babe, just get his name and I’ll deal with it.  Now get here NOW.**

“You think your boyfriend can do anything to me?!” he asked, voice dripping with condescension.

“Yeah, I do,” Darcy replied, completely done with this shit.

“Listen sweetheart, I don’t know who your boyfriend is, but 1-I promise you he’s slumming for your body and 2-I’m level 8.  I doubt he can do anything to me.”

“Okay, wow dude.  I hope you like the cold because either you’re going to Antarctica or you’re going six feet under.”

“Jesus.  Does this dude know he’s sticking his dick in crazy?  I might have to tell him.  Look, I don’t know what he told you, and it’s sweet if a bit stupid that you believed him, but he is about to lose his job for letting you in here.”

“Mother of Thor are you lucky that he doesn’t let me bring my taser here.  And you can kiss being dead goodbye.  I think it will be way more fitting that your life is a living hell you misogynist piece of shit.”

“Is there a problem here?” Maria Hill broke in.

“Yeah, some baby agent let his one night stand in,” the agent said, handing Maria the phone.

“I assume he told you what was going on,” Darcy said, not looking at the agent.

“You know he has your phone bugged, right?”

“Why else would I let this asshole hang himself without beating him senseless?”

“Excuse me, but can you stop talking like I’m not right here?” asked the agent.

“Oh, I’m sorry.  Are you upset that people are saying nasty things about you?  Must be so rough being you,” Darcy replied, finally looking at the man again.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“Oh!  I’ve got this!  My turn to be a cliche!”  Darcy looked at Hill, giddy, then turned back to the agent.  “I am your worst nightmare.”  She turned back to Hill.  “That was fun.  Is this what it’s like to be you guys all the time?”

Maria rolled her eyes as Darcy’s phone rang.

“Hey baby,” Darcy answered.

“Put Hill on.”

Darcy wordlessly handed the phone to Maria.

“Sir?” she asked.  The agent’s eyes grew wide.

“Told ya so, jackass,” Darcy smiled.

“Of course,” Hill said, handing the phone to Darcy.

“Miss Lewis, I don’t like to be kept waiting.”

“Don’t worry, I promise to make it worth the wait.”

Darcy hung up and sent a saucy wink to the agent.  “See you never!” she said as she walked away.

“Who are you, you bitch!” screamed the agent.

“I’m sorry, were you talking to me?  All I heard was blah, blah, blah,” she replied over her shoulder.

“Tell me, Agent Wilson, how do you feel about the cold?” Maria asked as she led him away.

***

Darcy opened the door to Fury’s office and then locked it behind her.

“Did you have fun?” Fury asked.

“Not as much as you’re about to,” Darcy said as she made her way behind the desk.  She pushed his chair back and knelt on the floor in front of him.  She ran her hands up his thighs, and said, “I believe you have an affinity for my, and I quote, ‘wicked mouth.’”  Her deft hands made quick work of his pants and got to work with ministrations meant to tease.

“Dammit woman.  Don’t play games.”

Darcy pouted.  “You know that I never play games that don’t pay out.”

“Right now, all I want is you to use that mouth, and not for talking.”

She responded the only way possible.

***

The next morning Darcy awoke to the amazing smell of her favorite coffee  Coffee she knew she couldn’t get in New York.  Coffee from a little place back home.

**Thank you.**

**What do you think I did?**

**...send me coffee?**

**Not me sweetheart, though I do have something you seem to like in your mouth.**

**Yeah, well you didn’t send me this coffee.  Whoever did is my new favorite.**

**Don’t need to be your favorite.  Just need your special skill set.**

**Always the charmer.**

She hit send and found the coffee in her kitchen.  Next to it was a typed note.

_He’s not exactly nice after you’ve been by, but he certainly isn’t as much of a dick.-MH_

Darcy smiled.  


**Author's Note:**

> I am apparently terrible at writing smut. Sorry I backed out.


End file.
